Massage
Giving a Massage at Home with Oil: Setup, Strokes and Clean-Up
You do not need a table or a course to give a good back rub. You need a warm room, an old towel, the right amount of oil and a little patience. Here is the whole evening, from choosing the bottle to washing the towel.
Choose the oil before the evening starts
Pick the bottle before anyone is lying down. Two questions decide it: what the person you are massaging likes to smell, and what their skin can take. For the first, our six oils run from floral lavender and green geranium to bright orange blossom, warm coconut and vanilla, and unscented for anyone who would rather smell nothing at all.
For the second, read the label. Five of our six oils list a tree nut oil, sweet almond or macadamia, and that includes the unscented one. If nuts are a concern, choose coconut or vanilla. If the oil is new to the person being massaged, the American Academy of Dermatology suggests a quarter-sized patch on the inner arm twice a day for 7 to 10 days first. That sounds slow, but a week of patience beats an itchy back on the night itself. Our article on reading a massage oil label goes through all six labels.
Set up the room
Warmth matters more than candles. Oil feels cold on bare skin, and nobody lies still and comfortable in a cool room, so turn the heating up a notch or close the window half an hour before. Dim the light if you like. The person on the bed will mostly have their eyes closed anyway.
Lay an old towel or a flat sheet you do not mind marking under the person you are massaging. Oil leaves marks on fabric, and a towel is easier to wash than a duvet cover. Keep a second towel within reach to cover the parts of the body you are not working on: being warm makes it easier to relax.
Put the bottle where you can reach it with one hand. All of our oils come in the same 16 fl oz pump bottle, so you can press out a little more without stopping to unscrew a cap with oily fingers.
Hands, nails and how long
Before you start, take off rings and a watch: they catch on skin and gather oil. Short, smooth nails matter more than any technique, so file anything sharp. Wash your hands in warm water, which also warms them, and dry them well so the first touch is not cold and damp.
There is no right length for a massage at home. Some evenings ten minutes on the shoulders is the whole thing, other evenings it is the full back and the legs. Stop while the person still wants more, rather than when your hands get tired: tired hands press unevenly and slip off the muscle.
Warm the oil in your hands
Never pour oil straight onto someone's back. Press a little into your palm, rub your hands together for a few seconds until the oil feels warm, and then lay your hands flat on the skin before you start to move. Start with less than you think you need. You can always add more as the skin takes it in, but too much oil makes your hands slide without pressure and leaves the person feeling greasy afterwards.
Our oils are made to sink in without leaving an oily film behind, so expect to add a little more every few minutes on a large area like the back. The almond-base oils give a touch more glide, and the coconut blends sink in sooner, so you may reach for the pump a little more often.
Strokes that work for beginners
You do not need names for the strokes, but it helps to have a few in your hands. Here are four that suit a home massage, in the order people usually use them.
| Stroke | How to do it | Where it works |
|---|---|---|
| Long glide | Both palms flat, slow and steady, from the lower back up beside the spine and back down the sides | The whole back, to spread the oil and warm up |
| Kneading | Lift and squeeze the muscle gently between thumb and fingers, like kneading dough | Shoulders and the top of the arms |
| Circles | Small circles with the pads of your fingers or the heel of your hand | Either side of the spine, never on it |
| Fanning | Hands side by side, push up the back, then fan out to the sides and glide down | The back, to finish a section |
Keep your pressure on the muscles, not the bones. Stay off the spine itself, and go lightly on the neck, the backs of the knees and anywhere that feels tender. Ask how the pressure feels, and believe the answer: more is not better if it makes someone flinch.
Talk, then mostly don't
A few words at the start make the rest easier. Ask whether there is anywhere they would like you to avoid, and whether they want firm or gentle pressure. After that, most people prefer quiet. Check in now and then with a simple question, and stop at once if anything hurts. Pain is not part of a home massage, and it is a reason to see a doctor or a licensed massage therapist rather than to push on.
When to leave the oil in the drawer
Skip the massage, or skip that part of the body, over broken skin, a rash, a fresh bruise or a sunburn. Keep oil away from the eyes and ears, as our labels say, and wash it off at once if the skin turns red or itchy. Two of our oils, orange blossom and geranium, carry orange oil, and the National Cancer Institute notes that citrus oils on the skin before going out in the sun can cause sun sensitivity, so give those a shower before a day outside.
If you are pregnant, have a medical condition or are recovering from an injury, ask your doctor first whether massage is right for you and where to avoid. A massage oil is a cosmetic. It feels nice, and that is all it claims to do.
Oil and condoms do not mix
A massage sometimes leads somewhere else. If it does, remember that massage oil is an oil. The CDC lists lotions and cooking oils among products that break condoms, the FDA wording for latex condom labels names vegetable oil, and the World Health Organization names coconut oil. Wash the oil off hands and skin with soap and warm water before sex with a latex or polyisoprene condom, and use a lube whose label says it was tested with your condom. Our lube guide explains what our own label says on that point.
Clean-up
Afterwards, offer the person a warm, damp cloth, or let them shower. Wash your own hands with soap and warm water: oil on your palms ends up on door handles and phone screens. Put the towel in the wash on its own or with other towels, and wipe the outside of the bottle before it goes back on the nightstand.
All six oils are on the massage oils shelf, each with its full label, and if you are still choosing a scent, the scent finder on our home page matches a mood to a bottle.
